Lately...

...I been, I been losing sleep

Dreaming about the things that we could be

But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard

Said no more counting dollars

We'll be counting stars

Yeah, we'll be counting stars

Not a fan of One Republic. Not now, never have been. I always found 'Apologize' overly dramatic, and their live performances plain mediocre. Their tunes are catchy, I won't contest that. But I could never reconcile the emo appeal of their songs with their unpolished, ragged image; it just didn't seem to match, and for me, felt so contrived.

But this particular song grew on me. 'Counting Stars' wasn't a love-at-first-sound, and took a few listens before I caught myself singing along to it. Fast forward to today (about four months later -- I won't deny I was late to pick it up), I find myself paying more attention to the words and just re-playing the songs on YouTube. Even funnier (or lamer, or geekier, depending on how you wanna view it), I Googled for "song meanings" to see if any other people assessed the lyrics, and lo and behold, it had a plethora of interpretations.

I guess, with lyrics like these, one is just given all the stimulus and liberty to infer meaning.

I feel something so right
By doing the wrong thing
And I feel something so wrong
By doing the right thing
I couldn't lie, couldn't lie, couldn't lie
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive

Aren't you just urged to read between the lines? ;)

Dream

I've said this many times: I've never had an ambition.

When I was a kid, I never had a dream profession or job. I never envisioned myself to be a doctor, businessman, lawyer, writer, basketball player, artista, or politician. As I grew up, I was mostly just in the moment, learning about things as they came, enjoying wherever it is that I was, appreciating whatever it is that I had.

True, I would occasionally set my sights on certain goals, but I realize now that they would mostly be short-sighted -- ones that were realistic, purposefully calculated, within my reach, with (very) high chances of success.

If it's necessarily good or bad to be so careful, I'm not sure.

But recently, as I was reminded of a version of me that I once knew, and of certain adventures that have always taken my breath away, I felt a yearning to define the kind of life I want to live.

If it will involve the kind of images in this post, I'm not exactly sure. But right now, these photos of new friends' travels have sent my senses on fire, and have left me dreaming of an alternative life that just feels so far away, so lofty, so un-realistic, and way beyond my reach.

If it's necessarily good or bad to dream of having this kind of life, I'm not sure.

But I pray that my wondering mind is answered (sometime soon).

***All photos from http://onceuponaclimb.co.uk/stories/