T'was a Good Run

I mean that literally.

Tonight I ran (okay, jogged) around UP after over a month. Aside from not running for a while, I have to say that I'm far from being a strong and happy runner, doing it only for the sake of cross-training. It has always been a struggle for me -- physically and mentally, and I'm sure this has become especially true since I started declaring my aversion for it.

For me, practically every run is a battle with my pride: Do I slow down or speed up? Do I turn here or there? Do I take the short-cut or the "long-cut"? And the answer is almost always a compromise -- something just enough to get my heart rate up, but never to push myself to my running limit. And I would adamantly justify to myself, "Why would I need to push myself this hard in running, anyway?! I'm a climber, not a runner!"

Just some of my conversations with myself ;)

But tonight, it felt different. Despite the humid weather, I was able to keep a steady pace and actually do three rounds in the Academic Oval without feeling tortured! My breathing was calm, and I was able to recover on the downward slopes, enough so that I didn't have to struggle and slow down on the flat and slightly-upward slopes. I even went faster on my second and third rounds, even if I thought I was going slower (reverse psychology?) Best of all, my side stitches didn't act up so much, and just stayed in a teeny tiny corner of my tummy, which I think played a huge part in not screwing up my breathing.

Before you think I'm gonna get more into running, let me tell you that I'm NOT. I'm just writing down tonight's experience for the sake of documentation, to remind myself that I can actually enjoy running (when my side stitches aren't twisting up my insides).

Because tonight also reminded me of how running can provide a different exercise; a relaxing kind where I don't have to think or strategize, as opposed to climbing where it sometimes gets aggressive and agitating...Running, as it showed me tonight, let me keep my gaze in one place, my heartbeat steady, and my thoughts float to wherever the breeze took them.

I only wish to feel that feeling again, and not let this be a one-off, like how we usually wrap-up once-in-a-lifetime experiences with the bittersweet phrase, "T'was a good run."

Not Just A Hallmark Holiday

Wikepedia says:

"Hallmark holiday" is a term used predominantly in the United States to describe a holiday that is perceived to exist primarily for commercial purposes, rather than to commemorate a traditionally or historically significant event. The name comes from Hallmark Cards, a privately owned American company, that benefits from such manufactured events through sales of greeting cards and other items. 

The term came to mind as I was thinking of the recent get-togethers I had with friends. Bridal showers, bachelor's parties, baby showers -- these were occasions I never grew up hearing about, nor saw my parents or older siblings attending. Which somehow made me wonder whether they were deeply-rooted traditions with social or economic significance (at the time they were developed), or merely contemporary American events produced for the purpose of spending and showing off who has the best/most expensive gifts. 

But then came my own bridal shower(s). Suddenly I was going to be reason for holding that "hallmark holiday"; for celebrating that particular "occasion" which I never really saw as something that had to be celebrated. I hardly even bother to celebrate my own BIRTHday (save for throwing inuman parties with climbers, but it's usually a joint celebration, and we all kind of get lost in the drinking than actually give attention to the celebrant), then now, I was about to be put right under the spotlight for being (about to get) married. And it felt new and kind of awkward!

Fast forward to post-showers, though, and I of course was proven wrong. Like how I usually am proven wrong when it comes every other social occasion, mainly because my idea of "interacting" with another person is by being a productive work partner, complete with a schedule and end-goal. 

My showers -- all three of them! -- turned out really fun, and made me feel so much more special than any other medal or award I've received. The games, the surprises, the gifts were a mix of laugh-out-loud wacky and heartwarming-meaningful. The presence of friends who took the time out to join the "occasion", as awkward as the idea initially seemed to me, was more humbling than disconcerting. The laughter and merriment shared, even with new acquaintances (i.e., extended family, which Miel had a lot of), was like rainshower to our budding our friendships, helping to nourish and grow.

It was such a fun experience for me that I ended up pushing two other "showers" in the past 2 months: A Baby Shower for our HR Assistant, and a Bridal Shower for my good friend Nicole. And with a little (okay, LOTS) of help from Mr. Google, it was so easy to put together simple yet fun games for a small group of friends to enjoy. 

Ms. Angie's Bridal Shower.
Highlight: Chocolate poop in the diapers!

Coy's Bridal Shower.
Highlight: Coy's facial expression upon realizing Rio's "innocent" questions!

I still don't actually know where the idea of showers come from, but why should I care so much about the origin, really? Now I know they're great excuses to build friendships, to "equip" the celebrant in the next chapter of their lives (whether through emotional support or by providing material gifts), and to make them feel special. 

And it always feels good to make another person feel special.

Cheers to friendships, the Google, and the so-called Hallmark Holidays!

I'm Not "Dispassionate"

Tom Asacker never fails to strike a chord. Or strike MY chord, to be more specific.

"Reality is for wimps," he says.

Reading his blog post makes me want to hide behind my laptop in shame, even if there's no one to hide from anyway!

And why shouldn't I feel insecure? Growing up I've always seen myself as a realist. Someone who gives a bigger-than-usual importance to cause-and-effect, logic, precise measurements, and reason. Someone who always tests the waters and covers all the bases, for fear of failure, recklessness and humiliation. Someone who takes a lot of things at face value (lip service, included) because ulterior motives, politicking and power plays just aren't in my vocabulary. (It seems I'm also very naive, huh?)

I don't even know if that is Tom Asacker's definition of "realism" but it obviously struck a big-enough chord in me to write a blog post.

Perhaps I was hit hard with how he talked about organizations/individuals becoming dispassionate.

I am SO scared of becoming like that. I'm so conscious of trying NOT to be stagnant and NOT to be stuck in my comfort zone, yet I feel like I sometimes catch myself exactly in a too-lazy-to-be-adventurous kind of mood.

Brrrrrrrr. It gives me the chills just thinking about it.

So in my personal declaration of what's brewing inside me, to remind myself that I'm not all that boring and risk-averse, I'd like to put this out in the open for the world wide web to see (ha, ha!):

I'm on the look-out for someone who wants to grow our humble organization with me. Someone who is ready for a challenge. Someone who works passionately and patiently, diligently and whole-heartedly. Someone who loves to share, to teach, to grow. Someone who is OC, has amazing attention to detail, and an addiction to standards. Someone who's not just in it for the money (because Lord knows financial rewards -- I ever daresay potential earnings -- will only come later). Someone who finds satisfaction in the less-popular "perks" of being a business-owner, like providing others with a source of income, having flexible work hours, being able to apply your personal values into what you do everyday, and therefore having the liberty to let your own creativity and methods flow, and ultimately, letting you practice what you preach. Of course, being in the restaurant industry, he/she must be someone who loves food, service, and did I say food?

Because I'm not in this for the short haul. I'm in here for however long it takes to pick ourselves up and bring our loyal staff back to their comfortable places, because they must be rewarded for all the hard work they are putting in. And I believe that God is good, and he, too, will reward my good and honest work, whatever form that reward may be, at the end of it all.

Amen? Amen!

Early Morning Laugh Trip

Nagising ako sa malakas na kalabit ni M. Ang lakas ng kalabit, at may kasabay pang sutsot ng "Pssshhhttt!"

Dead-ma lang ako dahil sa isip-isip ko, Hay naku, sleep-talking na naman si mokong, and I continue lying down, avoiding any movement so as not to wake him. (Yes, I was curious to see how this sleep-talk would turn-out).

I let a few moments pass then he goes at it again, this time in a louder voice: "Pssshhhttt! Pussy*!!"

I suppress my giggles and continue to pretend to be asleep.

Another few seconds pass....then he finally turns away from me and mutters, "Tsk! (May) topak."

...

That's when I burst out laughing.

Hayup. AKO PA ANG MAY TOPAK!!!

M is awakened by my sudden laughter, and he ends up laughing out loud himself.

It was about 5:28 AM.

We laugh for about a minute, then fall back to sleep.


---------------------
*Do not be offended by the word "Pussy", as M was referring to a person when he said it. We have a climber-friend who is nicknamed Pussy, and in his dream he thought that I was that friend.

The Sappy Pop Love Song

This is the kind of song I'd search, copy, paste, print, and memorize, "way back before", after a break-up or to just belt out and emote, pretending to go through a break-up, for the sake of drama. Because this is (was) the kind of music I enjoy(ed) listening to, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. The only difference is, I'm no longer a teenager, and no boyfriends to break-up and cry-by-my-sad-self with.

Yup, it's a sappy and catchy loser song. Exactly how a pop love song should be. The perfect soundtrack to the self-tormenting heartbreak kid, because misery loves company.

And did I say it's soooo fun to sing out loud? :-D So let's singalong!

The Script - Breakeven Music Video

Lyrics are provided, of course!

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven... even... no
What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you,

And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven even... no

What am I gonna to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

Oh you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm try'na make sense of what little remains ooh
Cos you left me with no love and no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break
No it don't break
No it don't break even no

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you and
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
(Oh glad your okay now)
I'm falling to pieces yeah
(Oh I'm glad your okay)
I'm falling to pieces yeah
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

Oh it don't break even no
Oh it don't break even no
Oh it don't break even no

Reel Rock 7: Food for This Climber's Soul

Patience. Persistence. Trying. Trying. Giving it 100%. And trying again. Falling. And trying again. Meeting a disappointment, having failure. But continuing to get up everyday with the same focus and enthusiasm. Moving through the pain. Working hard. Real hard.

Accomplishments. Having success. Ticking all the routes on your list. Dealing with the pressure the comes with the success. Staying focused...on the process, on the journey. Having a goal, having laser-like focus on the goal, but enjoying the means to the end. Striking the balance between frustration and motivation. HAVING FUN.

Enjoying the moment. Feeling every crack, every grain, every crystal. Enjoying the scenery, the sound of the wind. Breathing slowly, deeply, consciously. Moving...confidently, precisely, efficiently.

Being humble. Never forgetting where you came from. Never forgetting who has helped you. Always knowing the people and circumstances that have shaped you. Acknowledging success, but not taking it as a right to be superior over others. Sharing what you've learned. Always passing it on to others. And continuing to learn more.

Continuing to grow. To seek knowledge. To discover and explore. To try new things, taste new things, feel new things. Expand. Get out of your comfort zone. Meet others, and learn from them, too. You never know what stuff you can pick up from those "older" and the "younger" than you. YOU NEVER KNOW.

*****

My thoughts after watching the Reel Rock 7 in full. Inspired.

Grip Lives On!

When my climber-high school friends stopped climbing as they all went separate (and distant, un-reachable) ways, I decided to start an organization to find new people to climb with. Grip UP Sport Climbing Association was therefore born.

Fast forward to today, and we recently celebrated our 10th birthday. Yes, 10. As in ten, "T-E-N". This means it has been ten years since I called on old and new friends who showed the slightest bit of interest in climbing to help me reach the minimum number of members needed to form a University organization. Ten years since I picked my brain for a climbing org name that wouldn't have the words "climb" or "up" as I found it too cliche. Ten years since we copied created a Constitution and By-Laws even though I had never joined any other college org, and was relying on my limited understanding of all the legal writing that all constitutions were made of. Ten years since I asked my brother to make me a logo so that I would have something to submit to the Office of the Vice Chancellor for Student Affairs. Ten years since we launched our first application process, held our first induction, implemented our first training program, and setup our very first UP Fair Wall. Ten years.

It would be hard not to be sentimental, because when you're a student (or a teenager, for that matter), you never really think about longevity or succession planning. And the same held true for me when I first had the idea for this org. I just wanted to climb, and more people to share climbing with, and so I did what seemed like the most logical way to pool climbers together.

After graduating from college, I didn't involve myself too much in the org because I believe that a University-based org must be run by a University-based body. I didn't want to meddle in their affairs, because I wouldn't have their current members' perspective. So I just let Grip be, let it roll, and helped out in non-intrusive ways. As a sort-of outsider-looking-in, I've observed the struggles of the different batches. Newly-inducted members never becoming active, officers not doing their jobs, active members graduating, funding. The (near) future always appeared so bleak.

But Grip went on, and kept its head above water. Despite the difficulties, members continued to trickle in and out, and we've reached our tenth year.

How did it manage to survive? I can only offer one hypothesis: We've come this far through the efforts of passionate individuals who took action and persevered. You guys know yourselves; thank you for being YOU! :)

I don't know what the next generation of Grip members will bring. For now, let me cut this entry and say, it was one awesome anniv party we had, and I'm proud to be a Grip member!

happy birthday, grip!

The nice shot above is Jeric's -- you posted in on Facebook so I assume it's free for sharing :-D Photos from my own camera are over here.