I've never gone to a retreat in my whole life. This makes me the last person on earth to ever be considered as an authority on the topic. But basing on what I understand the activities and objectives of retreats to be, I would consider my recent trip to Boracay as one.
I had been looking forward to this trip given it’s been ages since my last travel with Miel. To be more specific, it's been one year, and that is a really long time considering the amount of traveling we used to do, before I joined our family business. If I look back even further, one year is actually quite sad, because there had been times when we'd be out of town at least once a month. But let me not dwell on the comparisons. The point is, we were finally gonna go on a trip. Albeit not to a brand new destination, the break from the daily routine was something to be grateful for!
As usual, I crammed my way to and through the eve of departure, procrastinating packing because I was squeezing in endorsements until my already-slow-mo brain could hardly function, up until I convinced myself that it's time to get a shut eye. NOT as usual, I packed lightly, purposefully: A bikini, 2 tops, 2 bottoms; no "security" towel or sweater; no alternative footwear to the flipflops I was gonna wear to the flight; two books. I did NOT bring my laptop, and did NOT wear a watch – to cleanse myself from my default behavior of counting hours and measuring productivity.
At 5am, Miel and I left for the airport, and the weather couldn't be any less promising. It was raining cats and dogs, and soon enough, radio news reporters announced class suspensions. A quick 3-day weather forecast check of Boracay told us that the island will not be spared of the precipitation. 'It's gonna be an interesting trip,' I thought to myself.
And it WAS interesting. And relaxing. And eye-opening.
It involved me seeing a different Boracay, and getting to compare it to the Boracay I knew 5 years ago, 10 years ago. It involved seeing Boracay during a season apart from the crazy Holy Week summer and mossy December. It was my first time to see the shoreline all pent up with transparent plastic cover-lined walls, like the island itself was under renovation. It was still awe-inspiring to see and feel the fine white sand, this time brimmed with white-capped waves resulting from the habagat winds. It was a treasure to stay at Red Coconut Resort that's so conveniently located at Station 2, and just 3 cartwheels away from the sea.
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| The shore view from "behind the wall" |
The weather forecast was not kidding: Apart from the afternoon of our arrival (about 4 hours of it), we didn’t feel the sun in the next two days. If the sky wasn’t all gray and gloomy, the rain was pouring! So what did these two pale, sun-crazed, action-seeking honeymooners end up doing?
Took advantage of the island’s amazing LTE speed. Hahaha.
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| Check out the speed. Saan ka pa?! |
Sure, I brought a book with me, but my new phone was less than a month old, and I figured there was no better chance to tinker with it than with this kind of internet connection. This was my opportunity to visit the Playstore, tinker with sound settings and widgets, and rearrange my shortcuts. Yes, guys, those admittedly take some brain work for me. Imagine, it was my first time to experience capturing a screen shot in a smart phone – was so amused that I kept taking screen shots of the speed test!
On a less geeky note, I was able to download (and consequently delete) various apps, buy a book, and watch YouTube videos seamlessly. But my fountain of light for the trip was
Brene Brown.
I came across her reading this
article (thanks to Tita Winnie’s share on Facebook), and after checking out the videos and profiles of the seven authors featured, I found myself drawn the most to Brene’s work. Initially because of her simple storytelling style, and later on, perhaps because of how much I could relate to her journey of living Wholeheartedly and Daring Greatly. I was so curious with her hypotheses and thought process that I just went ahead and tapped "Buy Now With 1-Click" on Amazon, so I could dive deeper into her work!
Here's a paragraph from her book
Daring Greatly, which will give you an idea of some personal struggles she's been trying to deconstruct, and how she believes we can deal and live life fully in the middle of such vulnerabilities:
Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don't exist in the human experience. We must walk into the arena, whatever it may be--a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation--with courage and the willingness to engage. Rather than sitting on the sidelines and hurling judgment and advice, we must dare to show up and let ourselves be seen. This is vulnerability. This is daring greatly.
Needless to say that I've caught myself screening and filtering and editing myself many many many times...preparing like there's no tomorrow...
perfecting myself and my actions...for fear of being humiliated or simply messing up, and only when I'm deadbeat tired do I say, "WHAT THE HELL", and jump right into it.
Worse still, sometimes, I never even jump.
Which is precisely what Dr. Brown talks about in letting ourselves be seen: The value of being in the moment, in being engaged in the process, and in
connecting with others, which we can only do if we allow ourselves to be seen, complete with our imperfections, instead of having our minds play the song of "
what will they think of me?!?!" as we speak, interact, and live.
She discovered that the root of this
disconnection with others is how we generally view vulnerability as a weakness, when it isn't, because vulnerability -- despite how uncomfortable, uncertain, or scary it can seem -- is actually the birthplace of love, belonging, joy and creativity.
Think about it: With whom do you have the deepest connections with? What are the proudest memories do you have? Aren't they with people who or situations wherein you went all-out, bared yourself, and allowed yourself to be vulnerable?
So internalizing such insights as we took our meals, dipped in the pool (
oo, hindi man lang sa beach), watched the Kiteboarders, and drank my cocktails, was what took up my 48 hours in Boracay. Of course, this was all in between finishing the entire book and watching video after video after video of the researcher. (The section on her qualitative data gathering method is very interesting!)
Who knew that a stormy weather and a smartphone would bring a joyful form of respite?
