Don't Eat Malunggay When There's a Dead Around...

Image from http://fromkoreawithlove.org

Nope, not malunggay (moringa), or kamote (sweet potato), or any vegetable that can possibly produce intestinal gas, as it will bring you bad luck.

When there's a dead around, make sure to cover all mirrors in the household, whether it's your dresser or some glass-doored cabinet. Drape your blanket over it if you must, just find a way to temporarily rid your home of those reflective surfaces.

Don't stack the dinner plates after eating, the elders said it's no-good.

And when your visiting, grieving house guest is on his way out, don't bother walking him to his car. Don't thank him for visiting you, either -- such acts bring ill fortune to those who commit them.

It's amazing what 1.5 hours drive away from Quezon City showed me today. For all the distances I've travelled (though they're not a lot, really), it thoroughly amused me to witness cultural differences as they were enacted.

This was in the city of Tanauan, Batangas. Not so far away from Metro Manila, I tell you, but the manner in which the community behaved around the departed is such a stark contrast from how I was influenced to act. Which leads me to reflect about how certain Filipinos respond to a family member's death, too.

In the (not so recent) past, I thought hysteria was nothing but media's exaggerations of how people can grieve over a loved one's departure. But after seeing it happen with my own eyes, from one fainting family member to the next, and to the next, and the next, it again reminded me of how different one person can be from the next, no matter how seemingly similar and agreeable we are in our everyday interactions.

For all the same Facebook pages we "Like", and Tweets we re-Tweet; for all the articles we share and photos we re-Pin; for all the same cheesy quotes we forward, and the same set of jokes that we laugh at...there's equally so much difference to define, to share, and to celebrate.

The daughter-in-law of the deceased stated it so candidly: "Our elders' superstitions may not be scientifically tested, and may not necessarily be real. But if it doesn't hurt us or cause us stress to follow them, then why shouldn't we follow them?"

Though in my mind I was ready to refute this kind of logic, I also thought it would be best to just let it be.

After all, if the family simply ate whatever they wanted to eat when the dead was around, then my morning wouldn't be half as interesting as it genuinely was.

***

My prayers and condolences go out to the family of our vegetable supplier, Ms. Leony Bautista. May your Inang rest it peace and continue cracking her jokes up in heaven. :)

Lesson for Today

Today was wedding #4 for 2012 (my own included in the count), and I was once again blessed to bear witness to a beautiful union. My friend Crissie and her fiance Mon tied the knot at the Immaculate Concepcion Cathedral, and I couldn't be any happier to be part of their special day.

I was quite unprepared to attend the wedding, coming from a work-related affair in the morning. Not wanting to go all the way home to dress-up, I brought my change of clothes with me when I left the house at nine in the morning, and just showered in a climbing gym in Cubao. As Miel could only follow to the reception, my Android phone and Googlemaps navigated me to the church. As lame as it may be, but mini-adventures like those never fail to perk me up.

In contrast, weddings never fail to make me cry, and this one was no exception. From the walking-down-the-aisle, to the exchange of vows, to friends and families' speeches during the reception -- they always leave my eyes brimming with tears!

What was distinct for me in this wedding was the affection showered by the couples' siblings in their speeches for the bride and groom. It started with Mon's older sister, who lovingly proclaimed how she looked up to Mon as his "older" younger brother, and gave testimony to Mon's loyalty, intelligence, and good looks. Then it was Crissie's sister's turn to define Crissie's qualities of being an "overly-accepting" person, and how Mon was very lucky to have someone as loving as her.

I suppose it's the sincerity of it all that never fails to move me. The facial expressions of the bride and/or groom in the final moments before they meet at the altar; the crack in their voices as they recite their vows; the heartfelt messages offered to the newlyweds in the reception...they are so raw and so unbelievably real, that my synapses probably go haywire with amazement!

As an added nudge on my rib, Crissie is one of those friends who I've admittedly, guiltily, taken for granted. As in, did-not-appreciate-enough, big-time. She's a super hard worker, and she's done so much for climbing, and so much for ME as a sportclimbing athlete. She took a break from climbing-related matters right after the SEA Games ended (to focus on her wedding), and I never got to thank her for taking good care of our team and helping get me to the Games in the first place! It had to take her sister's speech to make me realize how unappreciative I have been of Crissie (and how ungrateful I can be, in general).

Reminder: The world does not revolve around you. And no matter what success or happiness you achieve, you achieved it with the help of others. ALWAYS REMEMBER TO THANK THEM.

Mon & Crissie's First Dance :)

self-censorship

i fear i do this too often.

this may be one reason why the blog posts seldom come, because i choose not to write about "mundane" things, in worry that people may not be able to relate, or appreciate, or just get plain bored with whatever i write about!

the same holds true for the spoken word, and i often catch myself filtering my own thoughts for no apparent reason. (i say no "apparent" reason because Lord knows there IS a real reason -- it just isn't apparent to me, because it's probably some deep-rooted trauma stemming from my childhood, that has manifested into a habit of self-censorship that only psychology can explain).

so in an attempt to be a tad bit more open, voila, i talk about my tendency to self-censor.

***

in other news, life has been good. God has been good. i've been showered with many small miracles that i almost passed off as everyday things, no thanks to my exteeeeeeeme focus on less-important matters (tunnel vision sucks). i can't say i'm out of the tunnel, but there is light. huwag lang sana akong madapa, masakit 'yon.

hooray for my intact optimism. :-)

Migrated

This marks the beginning of my blog's new home -- Blogspot.

After rambling in Multiply for almost 5 years (since 2007), and many exchanges with the Multiply help desk, I was finally able to migrate my old entries. So pardon the formatting glitches.

That's it.

Climbing Again

So I'm getting married in less than 2 months and having a budding relationship with God and balancing the job of being an owner/supervisor/trainor/HR/marketeer/quality controller THEN I find myself in a "crossroads" in my climbing career. Okay, it's not a crossroads, I'm exaggerating. But I am faced with a decision.

I go to meet PSC Commissioner Akiko Thomson who's so charismatic and charming, and presents me with an Athlete Priority program that basically asks me to lay-off my work and be a full-time athlete for 1.5 years. She's so eloquent as she explains the program, and though lacking any concrete plans (in classic Philippine government contract style but I will not fault her for that), she wins me over as she ends the conversation about a similar opportunity she had in her day, when she went to the US to train for what was supposed to be just a summer, but extending to a full academic term with her living with foster parents and all, just because she had so much fun and she grew so much as an athlete.

An opportunity I wouldn't have to think twice about if this were 7 years ago, but with my involvement in our business and my obvious marriage to consider, stops me completely in my tracks.

I'm just writing this down to share my thoughts, because as I was weighing my options, I ended up writing this:

I really see this Priority Athlete offer as an opportunity not just for myself but for climbing to grow in our whole country. The MAIN reason why I don't want to just LET IT GO is because I keep thinking about how our community can benefit from it in the long-run, for example: What if I actually become a MUCH stronger climber if sign on with the program? Then maybe I can win MORE int'l comps? Then maybe it will make PSC give our sport more attention? Then more attention = more support?...

That is the part I'll be regretting the most if I DON'T sign on; that I might never get that kind of chance again to contribute to the sport's growth in the country.

I realize I may come off as self-absorbed and overconfident, but that is me and my empowered thoughts.

I felt the urge to share because right after writing that, I come across Roger Federer's interview transcript post-Wimbledon championship win over Andy Murray, and I almost cried reading what he had to say...

If I can help the game of tennis with the image or with, you know, making it more popular, that's enough for me really. I want to leave the game better off than when I came into this great game, which was already unbelievable with the great rivalries we had: Becker Edberg, Courier and Agassi and Sampras....They inspire me to keep on pushing further.You know, not just being happy with world No. 1 or being happy with a Grand Slam title, but maybe to reach for more. 

Comforting to know that I am not alone in my super(wo)man dreams.

No Choice

"I had no choice, I just couldn't get out of bed."

"I had no choice, it was the best program I could get into."

"I had no choice, he told me to do it..."

Really?

It's probably more accurate to say, "the short-term benefit/satisfaction/risk avoidance was a lot higher than anything else, so I chose to do what I did."

Remarkable work often comes from making choices when everyone else feels as though there is no choice. Difficult choices involve painful sacrifices, advance planning or just plain guts.

Saying you have no choice cuts off all options, absolves responsibility and is the dream killer.

-Seth Godin

thoughts from arco 2011

i write this as if i was actually in trentino. but then, thanks to the amazing technology of our times, it makes me forget the fact that Italy is over 10,000 miles away...what with the streaming videos and real-time information that we got! i know i may sound lame, but the technology blows me away.

other than the freaking wonder of the internet, staying tuned to the world championships awakened my dormant emotions to the breathtaking beauty of competitive climbing. (if you don't fancy superlatives, i suggest you stop reading this entry now because there will be more to come). what other sport do you know where competitors are friends and share strategies and tips on how to get to the top? what other sport do you know where athletes with different body types have equal chances of winning? what other sport do you know where you can fail to get to the finish line, but still you go home satisfied?

i know these statements may come off totally biased, and without scientific data to back them up. they may also simply be self-serving and distorted conclusions of a climbing addict such as myself. but i can't help but be proud of the grounded nature of wall-, er, sport climbing.

case in point: watch any observation period of a climbing competition. i also saw it again in arco. when the competitors are reading their routes, they would read in huddles and compare notes. competitors share tactics with each other! yes, one ulterior motive for sharing is also to receive tips in return, but the fact that there is that kind of interaction between competitors shows just how friendly the competition is. admittedly, too, i see this happen more commonly with female competitors, but men definitely practice it too. and even in the lead qualifications of arco, it was my first time to see a lead climbing competiton where competitors were allowed to watch others tackle the routes, which further highlights how the competiton is about finding your own way to the top. it's about finding the way that is best suited for your body, for your strengths, for your style, and most importantly, executing it -- and not about "beating" another person.

as for the results, i couldn't be any more happier that angela eiter and ramonet received the top awards in the lead category. yes, i am biased, because these are two athletes who i've personally seen with my own eyes (may papicture-picture pa). they (we) were much younger then, when i saw them. they were not yet as popular. but over the years they've pushed the standards of the sport, becoming world #1's and climbing celebrities in their own right. but what is also amazing is their body types. angela is so skinny!!!  46kg (101.41lbs) and 154cm (5'1") in height, according to this website. then ramon juliane pigblanque, who stands only 159cm (5'3") -- surely much lower than your average European male, and the shortest of all the lead finalists! and yet, there they were, showing us that it's not about how big or small you are. and, over the years, you would see that climbing's top athletes would vary in body profile. (it would be nice to conduct or read research about this some time). really gives you a boost, knowing that it truly can be anyone's game.

lastly, it was very moving for me to watch angela eiter's lead finals climb because i saw her fight her way to the top. true, she didn't finish the route, which is always the objective of each climb. but what made me emotional was seeing her reaction when she fell. she wasn't frustrated or angry. she was disappointed, yes, but she was smiling. Smiling. and my guess is, she was smiling because she was satisfied that she fought up there; that she made it past a section of the climb that seemed un-passable at first, but she was able to conquer with great strength and willpower -- and even move some more!; that even if she didn't reach the top, at least she knew she gave it a good go, and was able to display what years and years of experience has brought her. 

and that's one of the best things about climbing. even if you don't win, or you don't get external recognition, you can still exit a competition feeling totally psyched about your performance, for as long as you gave it all you've got. 

and winning? it becomes a cherry on top.