Music From My Past: Part 2

Featuring...The Simpsons Sings the Blues.

First thing's first: Admittedly, I am (was) not the biggest Simpsons fan. Sure, I enjoyed the show, but not to the point that I religiously followed each episode and can name each character that has ever appeared on it. And checking out some show trivia, I guess I shouldn't be so ashamed about my Simpsons naivety, considering that it's an adult animated sitcom that debuted in 1989; at that year, I was only five years old, so I really wasn't the target market...

Still, I didn't escape The Simpsons craze in the Philippines, watching what episodes I caught on RPN 9 and getting my share of (fake) Simpsons-branded stuff like shirts, mugs and towels. But my most prized Simpsons merchandise is a cassette copy of The Simpsons Sings the Blues (ito naman orig -- hindi pa kasing laganap ang music piracy noon!)

To those who aren't aware of this album, The Simpsons Sings the Blues contains originally-recorded music featuring the animated characters as singers, and all songs are rock n roll-, blues- and jazz-inspired. I guess I found it so amusing because it was my first time to see cartoon characters turn into recording artists, complete with "candid", behind the scenes dialogues and antics. The album completely brings the characters to life, and listening to it just sent my imagination soaring. I swear, even to this day, I have these vivid scenes in my head with the characters performing the songs all around Springfield, but I doubt they were ever shown on TV.

I imagine Bart wreaking havoc with "Do the Bartman", or Lisa going all emo with "Moanin' Lisa Blues". Or Marge being her charming, cooky self with "Springfield Soul Stew", and Mr. Burns and Smithers being typically sinister but surprisingly groovy with "Look At All Those Idiots".

But what makes the album even cooler is how the characters have duets with real music legends like B.B. King, Dr. John and DJ Jazzy Jeff...who, of course, weren't a big deal for me when I first listened to the album, and only many years later, did I come to realize that they were big stars in their own right. And I just thought they were nothing but back-up musicians supporting The Simpsons characters!

It was only when I was in high school did I discover that the "God Bless the Child" that Lisa sung with "Bleeding Gums" Murphy was actually a Billie Holiday cover, and that Homer's "Born Under A Bad Sign" was a classic by blues singer/guitarist Albert King. That the reason why Marge and Homer's "I Love To See You Smile" duet was so heartwarming was because it was a Randy Newman original. See, I had grown to memorize and love these songs at age 7 or 8, unknowingly getting a nice dose of jazz and blues into my system.

To this day, I keep the album in my playlist, and give credit to The Simpsons family for my appreciation and knowledge (at least, what little of it that I know) of this music genre.

TEDxDiliman

I cried buckets.

I kind of already expected that I would, but the mental preparedness did nothing.

Thank God there were rest periods -- equally fascinating and heartfelt, mind you -- like when we sang-along to Joey Ayala's "illegal" version of Lupang Hinirang. When Popo Lotilla proudly showed off his map collections, a passion born from the pursuit of defining the Philippine political territory. When Reina Reyes, looking like she just stepped out from her High School Biology Class, pinpointed the wonder of finding order in seemingly random things.

When Jonathan Yabut challenged the Filipino confidence in diskarte. When Dean Leonen recited Philippine laws like a machine gun. And in an entirely contrasting manner, when Mark Anthony Carpio's face brightened and gleamed as he shared how being part of the Madrigal Singers taught him the value of hard work.

But the emotional parts...they were just torture for the person who wanted to avoid a runny nose and getting the ugly-crying-face. Yes, I'm talking about myself.

Painter Marina Cruz-Garcia's talk was simply titled Adoptions, but her 18-minute segment revealed a fairy-tale story of struggling to conceive a child; deciding to adopt a little boy; serendipitously getting pregnant (with another baby boy) right after adopting; and fully understanding how adopting can change the world -- starting with changing the world of the adopted child.

Writer Rica Bolipata-Santos talked about why books matter, which is because books, or literature, give memories, language, and culture, form. Books are important not just for documentation sake, but because they put structure into things we cannot describe on our own. By taking us to worlds and ideas beyond our geographical boundaries, books help us make sense of the immediate world around us, and define our identity.

TEDxDiliman was organized with the theme of "Things That Matter", featuring individuals who talked about specific things that personally mattered to them. I know, saying it that way makes it sound generic, mundane and insignificant.

But for me, the main take-away is not about which particular passion or pre-occupation is most important, but simply that one must find his or her own passion. Each person must find at least one thing that truly matters, because life is only worth living if you give a sh*t about something.

This video captures how it matters that we discover what matters to each of us.

Yes, they showed (a version of) this video at the event.

And yes, tears sprang to my eyes yet again while watching it.

And for all that, I would like to thank and congratulate CANVAS for a job very well done.

Recipe for a Retreat

I've never gone to a retreat in my whole life. This makes me the last person on earth to ever be considered as an authority on the topic. But basing on what I understand the activities and objectives of retreats to be, I would consider my recent trip to Boracay as one.

I had been looking forward to this trip given it’s been ages since my last travel with Miel. To be more specific, it's been one year, and that is a really long time considering the amount of traveling we used to do, before I joined our family business. If I look back even further, one year is actually quite sad, because there had been times when we'd be out of town at least once a month. But let me not dwell on the comparisons. The point is, we were finally gonna go on a trip. Albeit not to a brand new destination, the break from the daily routine was something to be grateful for!

As usual, I crammed my way to and through the eve of departure, procrastinating packing because I was squeezing in endorsements until my already-slow-mo brain could hardly function, up until I convinced myself that it's time to get a shut eye. NOT as usual, I packed lightly, purposefully: A bikini, 2 tops, 2 bottoms; no "security" towel or sweater; no alternative footwear to the flipflops I was gonna wear to the flight; two books. I did NOT bring my laptop, and did NOT wear a watch – to cleanse myself from my default behavior of counting hours and measuring productivity.

At 5am, Miel and I left for the airport, and the weather couldn't be any less promising. It was raining cats and dogs, and soon enough, radio news reporters announced class suspensions. A quick 3-day weather forecast check of Boracay told us that the island will not be spared of the precipitation. 'It's gonna be an interesting trip,' I thought to myself.

And it WAS interesting. And relaxing. And eye-opening.

It involved me seeing a different Boracay, and getting to compare it to the Boracay I knew 5 years ago, 10 years ago. It involved seeing Boracay during a season apart from the crazy Holy Week summer and mossy December. It was my first time to see the shoreline all pent up with transparent plastic cover-lined walls, like the island itself was under renovation. It was still awe-inspiring to see and feel the fine white sand, this time brimmed with white-capped waves resulting from the habagat winds. It was a treasure to stay at Red Coconut Resort that's so conveniently located at Station 2, and just 3 cartwheels away from the sea.

The shore view from "behind the wall"

The weather forecast was not kidding: Apart from the afternoon of our arrival (about 4 hours of it), we didn’t feel the sun in the next two days. If the sky wasn’t all gray and gloomy, the rain was pouring! So what did these two pale, sun-crazed, action-seeking honeymooners end up doing?

Took advantage of the island’s amazing LTE speed. Hahaha.

Check out the speed. Saan ka pa?!

Sure, I brought a book with me, but my new phone was less than a month old, and I figured there was no better chance to tinker with it than with this kind of internet connection. This was my opportunity to visit the Playstore, tinker with sound settings and widgets, and rearrange my shortcuts. Yes, guys, those admittedly take some brain work for me. Imagine, it was my first time to experience capturing a screen shot in a smart phone – was so amused that I kept taking screen shots of the speed test!

On a less geeky note, I was able to download (and consequently delete) various apps, buy a book, and watch YouTube videos seamlessly. But my fountain of light for the trip was Brene Brown.

I came across her reading this article (thanks to Tita Winnie’s share on Facebook), and after checking out the videos and profiles of the seven authors featured, I found myself drawn the most to Brene’s work. Initially because of her simple storytelling style, and later on, perhaps because of how much I could relate to her journey of living Wholeheartedly and Daring Greatly. I was so curious with her hypotheses and thought process that I just went ahead and tapped "Buy Now With 1-Click" on Amazon, so I could dive deeper into her work!

Here's a paragraph from her book Daring Greatly, which will give you an idea of some personal struggles she's been trying to deconstruct, and how she believes we can deal and live life fully in the middle of such vulnerabilities:

Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don't exist in the human experience. We must walk into the arena, whatever it may be--a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation--with courage and the willingness to engage. Rather than sitting on the sidelines and hurling judgment and advice, we must dare to show up and let ourselves be seen. This is vulnerability. This is daring greatly.

Needless to say that I've caught myself screening and filtering and editing myself many many many times...preparing like there's no tomorrow...perfecting myself and my actions...for fear of being humiliated or simply messing up, and only when I'm deadbeat tired do I say, "WHAT THE HELL", and jump right into it.

Worse still, sometimes, I never even jump.

Which is precisely what Dr. Brown talks about in letting ourselves be seen: The value of being in the moment, in being engaged in the process, and in connecting with others, which we can only do if we allow ourselves to be seen, complete with our imperfections, instead of having our minds play the song of "what will they think of me?!?!" as we speak, interact, and live.

She discovered that the root of this disconnection with others is how we generally view vulnerability as a weakness, when it isn't, because vulnerability -- despite how uncomfortable, uncertain, or scary it can seem -- is actually the birthplace of love, belonging, joy and creativity.

Think about it: With whom do you have the deepest connections with? What are the proudest memories do you have? Aren't they with people who or situations wherein you went all-out, bared yourself, and allowed yourself to be vulnerable?

So internalizing such insights as we took our meals, dipped in the pool (oo, hindi man lang sa beach), watched the Kiteboarders, and drank my cocktails, was what took up my 48 hours in Boracay. Of course, this was all in between finishing the entire book and watching video after video after video of the researcher. (The section on her qualitative data gathering method is very interesting!)

Who knew that a stormy weather and a smartphone would bring a joyful form of respite?

Fun & Pretty Games!

I wish I can provide in-depth analyses and geek-critiques about these games. Unfortunately, all I have are my personal preferences and predispositions. So if you're looking for Plusses and Minuses, Pro's and Con's -- don't expect them here. All you'll read about are why I grew to love these games, and reached points of productivity trade-offs.

Clash of Clans
According to creator Supercell: "Clash of Clans is an epic combat strategy game. Build and defend your village; Dominate the Realm; Battle with thousands of players across the world!" I guess that's the game-marketer's way of putting it, but I love this game for its super-cute depiction of what is usually dark, edgy, and, violent. The background music is light and whimsical, the sound effects enchanting (coin- and elixir-collecting galore!), and there's almost always something to tinker with at any time of day (build walls, train troops, upgrade artillery, clean-out plants and bushes!) And what's a game without a goal? Clash of Clans offers loads of mini-achievements for a player to chase after...But really, the cute graphics win it for me. I could watch those Giants exercising in their Army Camps the whole day.

Isn't he a friendly-looking giant?
Click on him while he's in the Army Camp and he'll do some calisthenics!

Candy Crush
I've always fallen prey to puzzle and arcade games. In particular, I've spent more-than-forgivable-time playing Zuma, Insaniquarium, and Diner Dash, even reaching their "ends" at a certain point. (I think I finished Zuma more than 3x over, and had no trouble repeating the special final "space level"). So when I met Candy Crush, I knew right away that it was the addictive-type -- and addicted I got. I really don't know how to explain these games' addictive nature, except that they always seem to push me to outdo and outperform myself. They provide the precise balance of being challenging enough but not demoralizing, while giving some form of passive amusement with their adorable graphics. For me, the addiction ends when I either finish all the stages, or the game gets too tough and frustrating. At least, that's how Candy Crush ended for me. Damn those candy-eating chocolates!!!Fc&Xp8eu$!sf#!!

I can totally relate to whoever edited this image.
These chocolates made me give up on Candy Crush. :(

2Fuse
Did I mention I love arcade games? Here's another. "2FUSE is a fast and furious arcade-styled game which pits players against the clock to match and fuse as many similar icons as they possibly can within 60 seconds." I love 2Fuse because beating your record is a matter of practice. There are no levels and no surprise elements (damn those candy-eating chocolates!!!) Just one stage to challenge your quick-thinking and reflexes. Sure, the boosters can boost those points, but I'm stubborn and like to push for best times without the "help" of any special features. Plus, each run lasts just around 60-seconds, which makes it a good excuse to play in between whatever other important things I am doing. Tutal, 60 seconds lang naman, diba?

Frustrating at first, but addicting later!
Just fuse the similar tiles together...and do it FAST!

Dots
I'd put Dots in the same family sa 2Fuse in that it's also a 60-second game with just one stage and the concept of "boosters". But Dots requires even less mind work (I hope I didn't offend anyone with that statement) because the rules are so simple -- you just connect the dots! And they're SUCH pretty-colored dots! I learned about this game from my graphic designer/illustrator-sister, and if you look at Dots' interface, you'll understand why she got addicted to it too. With Dots and 2Fuse, 60 seconds feel like 10, and before you know it, you've spent 30 minutes straight trying to beat your high score. Or just trying to get out of a looooong series of bad runs.

Such a minimalist, whoever designed Dots. So visually delightful.
Even the "how-to" part only takes like 3 swipes.

It's Times Like These...

One of 'em songs that get me emotional! Especially on days (or even just moments!) when I feel like I'm on the verge of something huge...and huge isn't necessarily good, or bad. And that's what makes me so antsy, how the future is so unknown...

NO MATTER...It's for these emotions that we live. The fears, the anxieties, the excitements...the nerves and butterflies-in-the-stomach....If every result or ending was known to us, what a boring life it would be! Don't you think?

The last time I've felt this much apprehension was over 13 years ago, when I was a 3rd year high school student, and a friend invited me to be part of the school's "team" for a climbing competition. I was flattered by the invite, but at the same time freaking out inside, because (A) I'm not accustomed to being with people other than my own circle of friends, and (B) I've only climbed maybe twice in my life before that, which gives me a smaller-than-nil chance of NOT embarrassing myself on competition day.

But amidst all my jitters, I also knew the value of stretching myself. Despite the initial discomforts brought on by my terrible shyness, I also sensed how being involved in the sport of climbing would lead me to something different, something I've never experienced before in my life, even if I didn't know what that something was. So, armed with nothing but faith, out of my comfort zone I stepped.

I climbed. I trained. I attempted the different walls at Power Up, and cried when I didn't finish Into the Woods. I met people that weren't my batchmates. I met people who weren't from my school, and older/younger than me. (Take note that those meant a LOT to me as a timid high schooler, haha!) And yes, I joined that inter-school climbing competition, where I surprised myself by managing a 2nd place finish. Just goes to show how little I knew about my own capability!

And the rest? It would take a lot more time and words to describe how "the rest" changed my life. Not all changes were easy to swallow; in fact, even as I tried to manage my expectations, I would find myself caught off guard many times.

But ultimately, all changes had been for the better. Everything was automatically charged to experience, and shaped how I live and the person that I am now.

it's times like these you learn to live again /
it's times like these you give and give again /
it's times like these you learn to love again /
it's times like these time and time again

On repeat, until this emo-ness goes away.

Oh, Yoga

Sometimes, yoga makes me feel like I have the weakest body in the world. I guess that IS one purpose of being introduced to it -- to be humbled, to have patience, and to never stop trying.

In the meantime, I will have to keep myself motivated with these photos. Not that it's difficult to be inspired by these girls -- quite the opposite, in fact -- not only because of the lovely poses they can do, but because of what they've gone through individually in their own practices to get to where they are now.

My fellow climber and ashtanga teacher KQ in her firefly pose. Lower photo taken at one of the studios where she teaches, Yogiyoga Greenhills (http://www.yogiyogamanila.com/)

Another fellow climber turned yogi. Isla is with Certified Calm Store and teaches private yoga classes when not taking care of her favorite niece.

You can check out both ladies' Instagram accounts if you want to see just how far you can push yourself if you put your mind, body and heart into it. :)

Hmmm...I wonder of getting a funky attire, body tats, and my own Instagram account will help improve my practice? Haha!

Music From My Past: Part 1

Last weekend, I was lucky to find time to go out of town, and spend the weekend at Tali Beach. Aside from reliving the sweetness of college weekender getaways, one of the things I got reacquainted with was roadtrip music.

This roadtrip music was different though, because Miel and I carpooled with his Ninong's family, and the playlist wasn't are own selection. I was amused, however, to find myself singing to many of the songs, realizing that they were music I grew up hearing my sister listen to. Take note that Ate is ten years my senior, so if it wasn't for her ultimate reign over the cassette player during her high school days (panganay siya, okey?), I might not have EVER known this music existed, much less have lyrics tucked deep in my memory to this very day!

So as I sang along while our Ninong drove, visualizing the mixed tapes she used to pop into the car radio while I read the handwritten song titles on the jacket, I pressed my brain for song titles, band names and lyrics, and managed to come up with a list of artists and songs that I learned to love:

1. Robbie Dupree - Hot Rod Hearts, Steal Away
2. Kalapana - The Hurt, Nightbird, Naturally
3. Toto - Africa, Rosanna, I'll Be Over You, I Won't Hold You Back
4. Hall & Oates - Private Eyes, Kiss On My List, One On One, Rich Girl
5. Little River Band - Cool Change, Reminiscing
6. Gary V - Eto Na Naman, Narito, Each Passing Night, Letting Go
7. Neocolours - Tuloy Pa Rin, Say You'll Never Go, Hold On
8. Ambrosia - How Much I Feel, You're The Only Woman

Saving for last one my favorites. Sing with me if you know "Biggest Part of Me" by Ambrosia! Here's a link to a live version I found on YouTube.

Yeah
(Sunrise)

There's a new sun arisin'
(In your eyes) I can see a new horizon
(Realize) That will keep me realizin'
You're the biggest part of me

(Stay the night) Need your lovin' here beside me
(Shine the light) Need you close enough to guide me
(For all my life) I've been hopin' you would find me
You're the biggest part of me

Well, Make a wish, baby
Well, and I will make it come true
Make a list, baby
Of the things I'll do for you
Ain't no risk, now,
In lettin' my love rain down on you,
So we could wash away the past,
So that we may start anew

(Rainbow) Risin' over my shoulder;
(Love flows) Gettin' better as we're older
(All I know) All I want to do is hold her
She's the life that breathes in me
(Forever) Got a feelin' that forever
(Together) We are gonna stay together
(For better) For me, there's nothin' better
You're biggest part of me

Well, Make a wish, baby
Well, and I will make it come true
Make a list, baby
Of the things I'll do for you
Ain't no risk, now,
In lettin' my love rain down on you,
So we could wash away the past,
So that we may start anew

Oh, More than an easy feelin',
She brings joy to me
How can I tell you
What it means to me?
Flow like a lazy river
For an eternity
I've finally found someone
Who believes in me,
And I'll never leave

Oh, Oh, not to doubt now
Mmmm, make life grand

Well, Make a wish, baby
Well, and I will make it come true
Make a list, baby
Of the things I'll do for you
Ain't no risk, now,
In lettin' my love rain down on you,
So we could wash away the past,
So that we may start anew

(Beside me) Need your lovin' here beside me
(To guide me) Keep it close enough to guide me
(Inside of me) From the fears that are inside of me
You're the biggest part of me

(Forever) Got a feelin' that forever
(Together) We are gonna stay together
(Forever) From now until forever
You're the biggest part of me
You're the life that breathes in me
You're the biggest part of me

Mmmmm, You changed my life
You made it right
And I'll be a servant to you
For the rest of my life
You're the biggest part of me....

***
Phew, ang haba pala ng lyrics nito!

Destiny

Do you believe in destiny?

In the idea that nothing happens by chance; that every interaction is part of some colossal but minutely-calculated plan on how each person's life will pan out?

In the idea that you were born here, grew up there, studied in this school, took that first job, and met all those people, because Someone out there knows that's exactly the kind of background and experience you need for the kind of future you will live?

In the idea that people -- me, you, ALL of us -- in all our glorious complexity, intricacy, and uniqueness -- were individually designed, and custom-made in the way we are, to perfectly complement (or conflict with) another hand-crafted person on this earth?

In the idea that I'm right here, right now, the person that I am, because that's just how it is meant to be?

There's truly something tingly, romantic, and awesome in the idea of fate. Yet it can also sound dead-end and tragic, like navigating a car with no control of the steering wheel.

Just Do It

That's what Nike said. And maybe I should follow Nike's tagline more often. Exactly because I have this tendency to over-reflect, over-plan, and just over-procrastinate (redundancy intended). Not just in the stuff I write -- take blogging, for example! -- but even in the stuff I do.

So I'm trying to do it.

I'm trying to get back into climbing. Once a week, twice a week, any day/s of the week. Just staying focused on the mini-goals of (a) thickening the finger callouses, and (b) bringing back my forearm muscles' endurance. Yes, (a) trumps (b) by a long-shot. Been traversing on jugs, just to get back those extra layers of skin on any part of my hand, for Lord knows extra protection comes in handy. Been re-doing easy problems, just to log in more climbing time and more forearm-pumping action.

I'm trying to get back to yoga. Not that I was ever a committed yogi in the past, but I've re-acquainted myself with several poses that I've never been able to do, and would still like to achieve in this lifetime. So I say to myself: There's no other time to start working on them but now. Especially since these poses aren't natural for me, and will require a gazillion thousand breaths before I get deep into them. (Alam mo yung downward-facing dog? Lintek, ang sakit sa hamstrings.)

They say discipline is key. I believe that. SO much discipline is needed to keep doing these things. So I'm starting a ticklist of poses/super-human tricks I want to do before I die, which should give me enough drive to regularly hit the gym, and my brand-new mat:

1. Front Levers

Image depicts a gymnast on rings, but a similar challenge is presented to climbers. The only difference is climbers hold on to hangboards instead of gymnastic rings.

2. One-Arm Pull-up

It's as the name says. And again, practiced by both gymnasts and climbers. Requires ridiculous back and arm strength!

3. Straddle Press Handstand

This one is really a gymnastic move, done on the floor and balance beam as part of a routine. Tougher than a regular handstand, it requires the person to lift the legs up, slowly, using the body's core, instead of kicking off the floor and therefore "cheating" with the use of momentum. The core, man, it's in the core.

4. Full Boat Pose

I'm praying and wishing and hoping it won't take me 10 years before I get to do this full pose. I'm being positive, even if I'm only working on the half boat pose and constantly end up with embarrassing, spasmic spasmodic movements in my legs when I hold it for more than 5 breaths. My hip flexors are horribly weak like that.

5. Jump Back to Chaturanga Dandasana

I can't find a photo 'cause this is more of a movement than a pose. But basically it requires one to jump back from a sitting position (cross-legged or "indian-sit" style) into a plank position. That means you have to curl yourself into a ball (abs+hip flexor work), lift yourself up (back+shoulders+arm work), make your balled-up self squeeze into that space between your arms and swing your legs back (core work). Doing Step 1 already makes me depressed.

I therefore conclude...I should've been a gymnast.

*****
Photo credits: 
Images 1 & 2 - http://www128.pair.com/r3d4k7/Climbing&Gymnastics1.0.html
Full Boat Pose - http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/489
Jump Back - http://www.kinoyoga.com/how-to-jump-back/

I Am Grateful

How aptly branded, this Manduka mat is. But yes, it makes one feel grateful indeed.

Especially since it came in my favorite color. ;)

Manduka Pro-Lite, available in Certified Calm stores
(Shangri-La Plaza Mall and Two Parkade, Bonifacio Global City)

Staycation

Garden + Swimming Pool + Banig + Cloudless sky + Sunshiney sun + A good book. Oh, and did I say SUN? :)) SIGHHHHHH. Nothing more to ask for. :)

But wait, there's more! May bonus pa :) Spiked fruit shakes + slack line setup! (Salamat Xtian sa pagpapahiram, sa bahay muna siya!)

Thank you Lord! :)

P.S. I enjoyed this Staycation concept so much that I did it twice this past Holy Week. More practice needed for making shakes, and MUCH more practice for slack line tricks!

A Tribute to Beer

Sometimes it just helps to have a beer in hand.

I don't mean this is a drunkard kind of way, but just to admit that once in a while, those cold, bitter bubbles can be the saving glory to a seemingly downward-spiraling day, week, month, or heck if you're overly dramatic about it, you even sometimes think it salvages your entire life! (Even if just for a fleeting moment, ha ha!)

Oh SMB, how do I count the ways?

When teacher/boss/designated authority gives you a stare worse than that of the eye of Mordor, you help numb the fear;

When even as a girl I feel like I'm choking on imaginary balls out of nervousness, you inject me with just enough courage to take the first step (bahala na what happens to steps 2, 3, and so on);

When the day's drained me dry and left me in a stupor, you revive my system and turn back time;

Like when the Videoke machine is running out of a playlist, you find ways to get those hesitant fingers to punch the song numbers;

Or when I'm being unnecessarily timid and anti-social, you urge me to stand taller and push random words out of my mouth;

When I don't want to listen or I don't want to remember, you always make the perfect excuse;

When someone threw me crap (or made me feel like crap), inviting me to retaliate, you help me forget;

(Ohhhh, YES, how very adept you are in helping to forget;)

When I'm listening to a song or watching concert (live or recorded), you heighten my senses that gives me goosebumps all over;

When I'm sitting on the beach in my bikini and the scorching sun is high and all I hear is the sound of crashing waves...you're there with me, and you just let me be;

When the company is strange/awkward, you totally manage to break the ice;

Especially when the group's quiet -- somehow, at least one part animal bursts into an entertainment number cum conversation piece to last the night, kudos to you!

Then when the group's loud and rowdy, you never fail to make them even louder and rowdier!

And when I'm all by myself, acting lonesome and friend-less, sinasakyan mo ang drama ko at tinutulungan pa akong mag sulat sa blog kong ito.

T'was a Good Run

I mean that literally.

Tonight I ran (okay, jogged) around UP after over a month. Aside from not running for a while, I have to say that I'm far from being a strong and happy runner, doing it only for the sake of cross-training. It has always been a struggle for me -- physically and mentally, and I'm sure this has become especially true since I started declaring my aversion for it.

For me, practically every run is a battle with my pride: Do I slow down or speed up? Do I turn here or there? Do I take the short-cut or the "long-cut"? And the answer is almost always a compromise -- something just enough to get my heart rate up, but never to push myself to my running limit. And I would adamantly justify to myself, "Why would I need to push myself this hard in running, anyway?! I'm a climber, not a runner!"

Just some of my conversations with myself ;)

But tonight, it felt different. Despite the humid weather, I was able to keep a steady pace and actually do three rounds in the Academic Oval without feeling tortured! My breathing was calm, and I was able to recover on the downward slopes, enough so that I didn't have to struggle and slow down on the flat and slightly-upward slopes. I even went faster on my second and third rounds, even if I thought I was going slower (reverse psychology?) Best of all, my side stitches didn't act up so much, and just stayed in a teeny tiny corner of my tummy, which I think played a huge part in not screwing up my breathing.

Before you think I'm gonna get more into running, let me tell you that I'm NOT. I'm just writing down tonight's experience for the sake of documentation, to remind myself that I can actually enjoy running (when my side stitches aren't twisting up my insides).

Because tonight also reminded me of how running can provide a different exercise; a relaxing kind where I don't have to think or strategize, as opposed to climbing where it sometimes gets aggressive and agitating...Running, as it showed me tonight, let me keep my gaze in one place, my heartbeat steady, and my thoughts float to wherever the breeze took them.

I only wish to feel that feeling again, and not let this be a one-off, like how we usually wrap-up once-in-a-lifetime experiences with the bittersweet phrase, "T'was a good run."

Not Just A Hallmark Holiday

Wikepedia says:

"Hallmark holiday" is a term used predominantly in the United States to describe a holiday that is perceived to exist primarily for commercial purposes, rather than to commemorate a traditionally or historically significant event. The name comes from Hallmark Cards, a privately owned American company, that benefits from such manufactured events through sales of greeting cards and other items. 

The term came to mind as I was thinking of the recent get-togethers I had with friends. Bridal showers, bachelor's parties, baby showers -- these were occasions I never grew up hearing about, nor saw my parents or older siblings attending. Which somehow made me wonder whether they were deeply-rooted traditions with social or economic significance (at the time they were developed), or merely contemporary American events produced for the purpose of spending and showing off who has the best/most expensive gifts. 

But then came my own bridal shower(s). Suddenly I was going to be reason for holding that "hallmark holiday"; for celebrating that particular "occasion" which I never really saw as something that had to be celebrated. I hardly even bother to celebrate my own BIRTHday (save for throwing inuman parties with climbers, but it's usually a joint celebration, and we all kind of get lost in the drinking than actually give attention to the celebrant), then now, I was about to be put right under the spotlight for being (about to get) married. And it felt new and kind of awkward!

Fast forward to post-showers, though, and I of course was proven wrong. Like how I usually am proven wrong when it comes every other social occasion, mainly because my idea of "interacting" with another person is by being a productive work partner, complete with a schedule and end-goal. 

My showers -- all three of them! -- turned out really fun, and made me feel so much more special than any other medal or award I've received. The games, the surprises, the gifts were a mix of laugh-out-loud wacky and heartwarming-meaningful. The presence of friends who took the time out to join the "occasion", as awkward as the idea initially seemed to me, was more humbling than disconcerting. The laughter and merriment shared, even with new acquaintances (i.e., extended family, which Miel had a lot of), was like rainshower to our budding our friendships, helping to nourish and grow.

It was such a fun experience for me that I ended up pushing two other "showers" in the past 2 months: A Baby Shower for our HR Assistant, and a Bridal Shower for my good friend Nicole. And with a little (okay, LOTS) of help from Mr. Google, it was so easy to put together simple yet fun games for a small group of friends to enjoy. 

Ms. Angie's Bridal Shower.
Highlight: Chocolate poop in the diapers!

Coy's Bridal Shower.
Highlight: Coy's facial expression upon realizing Rio's "innocent" questions!

I still don't actually know where the idea of showers come from, but why should I care so much about the origin, really? Now I know they're great excuses to build friendships, to "equip" the celebrant in the next chapter of their lives (whether through emotional support or by providing material gifts), and to make them feel special. 

And it always feels good to make another person feel special.

Cheers to friendships, the Google, and the so-called Hallmark Holidays!

I'm Not "Dispassionate"

Tom Asacker never fails to strike a chord. Or strike MY chord, to be more specific.

"Reality is for wimps," he says.

Reading his blog post makes me want to hide behind my laptop in shame, even if there's no one to hide from anyway!

And why shouldn't I feel insecure? Growing up I've always seen myself as a realist. Someone who gives a bigger-than-usual importance to cause-and-effect, logic, precise measurements, and reason. Someone who always tests the waters and covers all the bases, for fear of failure, recklessness and humiliation. Someone who takes a lot of things at face value (lip service, included) because ulterior motives, politicking and power plays just aren't in my vocabulary. (It seems I'm also very naive, huh?)

I don't even know if that is Tom Asacker's definition of "realism" but it obviously struck a big-enough chord in me to write a blog post.

Perhaps I was hit hard with how he talked about organizations/individuals becoming dispassionate.

I am SO scared of becoming like that. I'm so conscious of trying NOT to be stagnant and NOT to be stuck in my comfort zone, yet I feel like I sometimes catch myself exactly in a too-lazy-to-be-adventurous kind of mood.

Brrrrrrrr. It gives me the chills just thinking about it.

So in my personal declaration of what's brewing inside me, to remind myself that I'm not all that boring and risk-averse, I'd like to put this out in the open for the world wide web to see (ha, ha!):

I'm on the look-out for someone who wants to grow our humble organization with me. Someone who is ready for a challenge. Someone who works passionately and patiently, diligently and whole-heartedly. Someone who loves to share, to teach, to grow. Someone who is OC, has amazing attention to detail, and an addiction to standards. Someone who's not just in it for the money (because Lord knows financial rewards -- I ever daresay potential earnings -- will only come later). Someone who finds satisfaction in the less-popular "perks" of being a business-owner, like providing others with a source of income, having flexible work hours, being able to apply your personal values into what you do everyday, and therefore having the liberty to let your own creativity and methods flow, and ultimately, letting you practice what you preach. Of course, being in the restaurant industry, he/she must be someone who loves food, service, and did I say food?

Because I'm not in this for the short haul. I'm in here for however long it takes to pick ourselves up and bring our loyal staff back to their comfortable places, because they must be rewarded for all the hard work they are putting in. And I believe that God is good, and he, too, will reward my good and honest work, whatever form that reward may be, at the end of it all.

Amen? Amen!

Early Morning Laugh Trip

Nagising ako sa malakas na kalabit ni M. Ang lakas ng kalabit, at may kasabay pang sutsot ng "Pssshhhttt!"

Dead-ma lang ako dahil sa isip-isip ko, Hay naku, sleep-talking na naman si mokong, and I continue lying down, avoiding any movement so as not to wake him. (Yes, I was curious to see how this sleep-talk would turn-out).

I let a few moments pass then he goes at it again, this time in a louder voice: "Pssshhhttt! Pussy*!!"

I suppress my giggles and continue to pretend to be asleep.

Another few seconds pass....then he finally turns away from me and mutters, "Tsk! (May) topak."

...

That's when I burst out laughing.

Hayup. AKO PA ANG MAY TOPAK!!!

M is awakened by my sudden laughter, and he ends up laughing out loud himself.

It was about 5:28 AM.

We laugh for about a minute, then fall back to sleep.


---------------------
*Do not be offended by the word "Pussy", as M was referring to a person when he said it. We have a climber-friend who is nicknamed Pussy, and in his dream he thought that I was that friend.

The Sappy Pop Love Song

This is the kind of song I'd search, copy, paste, print, and memorize, "way back before", after a break-up or to just belt out and emote, pretending to go through a break-up, for the sake of drama. Because this is (was) the kind of music I enjoy(ed) listening to, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. The only difference is, I'm no longer a teenager, and no boyfriends to break-up and cry-by-my-sad-self with.

Yup, it's a sappy and catchy loser song. Exactly how a pop love song should be. The perfect soundtrack to the self-tormenting heartbreak kid, because misery loves company.

And did I say it's soooo fun to sing out loud? :-D So let's singalong!

The Script - Breakeven Music Video

Lyrics are provided, of course!

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven... even... no
What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you,

And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven even... no

What am I gonna to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

Oh you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm try'na make sense of what little remains ooh
Cos you left me with no love and no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break
No it don't break
No it don't break even no

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you and
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
(Oh glad your okay now)
I'm falling to pieces yeah
(Oh I'm glad your okay)
I'm falling to pieces yeah
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

Oh it don't break even no
Oh it don't break even no
Oh it don't break even no

Reel Rock 7: Food for This Climber's Soul

Patience. Persistence. Trying. Trying. Giving it 100%. And trying again. Falling. And trying again. Meeting a disappointment, having failure. But continuing to get up everyday with the same focus and enthusiasm. Moving through the pain. Working hard. Real hard.

Accomplishments. Having success. Ticking all the routes on your list. Dealing with the pressure the comes with the success. Staying focused...on the process, on the journey. Having a goal, having laser-like focus on the goal, but enjoying the means to the end. Striking the balance between frustration and motivation. HAVING FUN.

Enjoying the moment. Feeling every crack, every grain, every crystal. Enjoying the scenery, the sound of the wind. Breathing slowly, deeply, consciously. Moving...confidently, precisely, efficiently.

Being humble. Never forgetting where you came from. Never forgetting who has helped you. Always knowing the people and circumstances that have shaped you. Acknowledging success, but not taking it as a right to be superior over others. Sharing what you've learned. Always passing it on to others. And continuing to learn more.

Continuing to grow. To seek knowledge. To discover and explore. To try new things, taste new things, feel new things. Expand. Get out of your comfort zone. Meet others, and learn from them, too. You never know what stuff you can pick up from those "older" and the "younger" than you. YOU NEVER KNOW.

*****

My thoughts after watching the Reel Rock 7 in full. Inspired.